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Facebook ‘Ask’ Feature Lets Friends Inquire About Relationships

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Facebook ‘Ask’ Feature Lets Friends Inquire About Relationships

Facebook has begun rolling out a new profile feature in which an “Ask” button is displayed beside items in a user’s “About” page, including the “Relationship Status” section, so that users can directly ask if their friends have a significant other. What do you think?

  • “You’re not supposed to ask for that kind of information; you’re supposed to deduce it by browsing through hundreds of someone’s personal photos and wall posts.”

    Lena Macdonald Summer Camp Counselor
  • “Can I still ask my friends about stuff in person, or do I have to use Facebook for everything now?”

    Daniel Chouler Carpet Cleaner
  • “This is ridiculous. If people want to know my relationship status, they can just ask me. Or email or text. Or this button thing you’re talking about.”

    Luke Bailey Pastry Chef

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