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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Facebook ‘Ask’ Feature Lets Friends Inquire About Relationships

Facebook has begun rolling out a new profile feature in which an “Ask” button is displayed beside items in a user’s “About” page, including the “Relationship Status” section, so that users can directly ask if their friends have a significant other. What do you think?

  • “You’re not supposed to ask for that kind of information; you’re supposed to deduce it by browsing through hundreds of someone’s personal photos and wall posts.”

    Lena Macdonald Summer Camp Counselor
  • “Can I still ask my friends about stuff in person, or do I have to use Facebook for everything now?”

    Daniel Chouler Carpet Cleaner
  • “This is ridiculous. If people want to know my relationship status, they can just ask me. Or email or text. Or this button thing you’re talking about.”

    Luke Bailey Pastry Chef
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