adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Facebook Bans Sale Of ISIS Clothing

Facebook has announced it is removing pages that are selling merchandise bearing the brand of militant group Islamic State in Iraq and Syria, including T-shirts with slogans such as “We Are All ISIS” and “Fight for Freedom, Until the Last Drop of Blood.” What do you think?

  • “Finally, we’re hitting them where it hurts.”

    Casey Morris Youth Sports Referee
  • “I would never buy clothing from a terrorist organization without trying it on first.”

    Maria Hudnall Emergency Medical Technician
  • “It's about time. I’ve been complaining for months that they stole their slogan ‘Fight for Freedom, Until the Last Drop of Blood’ from my intramural kickball team."

    Grant Bemis Systems Analyst

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close