adBlockCheck

Recent News

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

Facebook Founder Sued

Mark Zuckerberg, creator of the popular social networking site Facebook, is being sued by two former classmates who claim he stole the idea. What do you think?
  • "Poor guy. Sounds like he could use a smiley-face comment."

    Antonio Cima Systems Anaylst
  • "I hope the site isn't shut down before I figure out what the poke feature is for."

    Paige Foster Valet
  • "They probably would have guarded their secret more carefully had they only known that people's basest voyeuristic and exhibitionist predilections could be exploited for money."

    Kyle Eastman Rigger

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close