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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Facebook Introduces New Search Feature

Positioning itself as a potential rival to LinkedIn and online dating sites, Facebook introduced its new Graph Search yesterday, a feature that allows users to search people, pictures, and interests on the social network using a variety of filters. What do you think?

  • “Wait. Other people on Facebook can see me?”

    Rory Sandwich Systems Analyst
  • “Wow, the name alone is exciting—Graph Search!”

    Martha Tuttle Tour Guide
  • “But let’s say I want to see some tits. Then what?”

    Ray Cowles Screen Printer

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