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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Facebook More Popular Than Google

For the first time ever, the social network Facebook had more weekly traffic than Google, making it the most popular site on the Internet. What do you think?

  • "Oh, this will all die down in three months when everyone's done looking at my wedding photos."

    Irving Caldwell Systems Analyst
  • "And MySpace has Ask Jeeves firmly in its sights."

    Patricia Alexander Cabinet Maker
  • "Yeah, even Facebook’s search capabilities are starting to rival Google’s. Like if you’re trying to remember a song lyric or movie quote, all you have to do is type the first couple words into your status and one of your friends will fill in the rest almost immediately.”

    Willie Henderson Field Gauger

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