Facebook Pays $1 Billion For Instagram

Top Headlines

Recent News

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fatherhood

  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Facebook Pays $1 Billion For Instagram

In advance of its initial public offering, Facebook has purchased the two-year-old photo-sharing website Instagram. What do you think?

  • "And I thought there was nothing that could make the Facebook IPO more exciting."

    Ann Barnett
    Light Technician
  • "Great, another app I won’t have a chance to try because its acquisition by Facebook makes it too passé."

    Albert Moore
    Systems Analyst
  • "I wish I could make big business decisions like that. All I can buy for my company is stupid little cupcakes. And I already ate those."

    Michael Cubiero
    Bag Liner