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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Facebook Reaches 1 Billion Users

The 8-year-old social networking site Facebook now has 1 billion active monthly users, with roughly one of every seven people in the world holding an account, according to CEO Mark Zuckerberg. What do you think?

  • “I’d be worried about having the personal information of so many people in one system if I didn’t completely trust Facebook’s latest privacy policy.”

    Martin Goris Agricultural Engineer
  • “Things always get more popular once there’s a movie.”

    Donald Hickox Military Recruiter
  • “Are you telling me 6 billion people don’t use Facebook? What am I doing on there? Am I some sort of freak?”

    Ava Westcott Noodle-Press Operator

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