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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Facebook Testing Out ‘Buy’ Button

According to company officials, Facebook is testing out a new “Buy” button on the News Feed section and on advertisements, which would give users the option to keep their credit card and shipping information on file with Facebook and purchase items without ever leaving the site. What do you think?

  • “Oh, boy, a new button!”

    Carson Lane Catalogue Printer
  • “If they want to compete with Amazon, they are going to have to get their purchasing process down to a half-click or less.”

    Barry Kanalley Systems Analyst
  • “This sounds awful and unnecessary. I suppose I’ll get used to it, though.”

    Margaret Burke FedEx Delivery Manager

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