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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Facebook Testing Out ‘Buy’ Button

According to company officials, Facebook is testing out a new “Buy” button on the News Feed section and on advertisements, which would give users the option to keep their credit card and shipping information on file with Facebook and purchase items without ever leaving the site. What do you think?

  • “Oh, boy, a new button!”

    Carson Lane Catalogue Printer
  • “If they want to compete with Amazon, they are going to have to get their purchasing process down to a half-click or less.”

    Barry Kanalley Systems Analyst
  • “This sounds awful and unnecessary. I suppose I’ll get used to it, though.”

    Margaret Burke FedEx Delivery Manager

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