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Fahrenheit 9-11

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Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Fahrenheit 9-11

Disney recently blocked Miramax from releasing Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9-11, a film criticizing President Bush's handling of Sept. 11. What do you think?
  • "Disney is afraid of controversy? But they were the first ones to point out how wrong it is to be an evil witch."

    Pamela Turner Marine Engineer
  • "I used to be a big fan of Michael Moore, until he turned all political."

    Jean Collins Clerk
  • "Moore's prominent presence in the news brings to light some serious questions, such as 'Can't he at least try to look presentable?'"

    Juan Sanchez Interpreter
  • "So Eisner, Moore, and the Weinsteins are involved in the story of Bush and bin Laden? Is anyone decent a part of this at all?"

    Walter Reed Systems Analyst
  • "Disney insists that it wants to remain apolitical, but that doesn't explain its controversial 1971 cartoon, Donald's Laos-y Cambodian Vacation."

    Sammy Campbell Video Editor
  • "Why doesn't Michael Moore ever make documentaries about nice things, like where cotton candy comes from?"

    Keith Scott Statistician

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