adBlockCheck

Recent News

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
End Of Section
  • More News

Family Dinners Can Counteract Effects Of Cyberbullying

New research suggests that eating dinner as a family four or more times a week may help protect kids against some of the negative effects of cyberbullying by allowing them to talk about their problems with siblings and parents, as well as discuss coping mechanisms. What do you think?

  • “But family dinner is the only time of day I get to sit down and eat in total silence.”

    Amy Flanagan Nonprofit Executive
  • “I’d love to help my kids deal with cyberbullying, but we’re usually finished eating by the time I’m done complaining about my boss.”

    Ben Leeds Park Ranger
  • “Shouldn’t it be the bully who gets punished?”

    Jake Gronli Refrigerator Tester

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close