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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity

According to a study by corporate restructuring firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, fantasy football costs U.S. companies $13.4 billion total in lost productivity per NFL season due to employees spending an average of two hours on the job each week managing their teams. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but can you put a multi-billion-dollar price on fun?”

    Philip Moglen Branch Trimmer
  • “Given that the average corporate employee works eight uninterrupted hours a day, this is shocking.”

    Marcie Finney Teaching Assistant
  • “Yeah, but working when I could be managing my fantasy team probably costs me two or three wins, so we’re even.”

    Vincent Chandler Bike Rack Installer
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