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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity

According to a study by corporate restructuring firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, fantasy football costs U.S. companies $13.4 billion total in lost productivity per NFL season due to employees spending an average of two hours on the job each week managing their teams. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but can you put a multi-billion-dollar price on fun?”

    Philip Moglen Branch Trimmer
  • “Given that the average corporate employee works eight uninterrupted hours a day, this is shocking.”

    Marcie Finney Teaching Assistant
  • “Yeah, but working when I could be managing my fantasy team probably costs me two or three wins, so we’re even.”

    Vincent Chandler Bike Rack Installer

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