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Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Fantasy Football Costs Businesses $13.4 Billion In Lost Productivity

According to a study by corporate restructuring firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, fantasy football costs U.S. companies $13.4 billion total in lost productivity per NFL season due to employees spending an average of two hours on the job each week managing their teams. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, but can you put a multi-billion-dollar price on fun?”

    Philip Moglen Branch Trimmer
  • “Given that the average corporate employee works eight uninterrupted hours a day, this is shocking.”

    Marcie Finney Teaching Assistant
  • “Yeah, but working when I could be managing my fantasy team probably costs me two or three wins, so we’re even.”

    Vincent Chandler Bike Rack Installer

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