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Farewell, Weekly World News

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Farewell, Weekly World News

Weekly World News, home to columnist Ed Anger and exclusive coverage of Bat Boy, will cease publication as of August 3. What do you think?
  • "Without their insightful reporting, how are we supposed to make sense of the increasing number of heads appearing on our nation's newborns?"

    Caroline Adamson Systems Analyst
  • "Ed Anger must be madder than a dime-a-dance broad at a wheelchair convention at this news."

    Bob Harvey Custom Detailer
  • "Since The Globe broke the story, I have my doubts that it's true."

    Andy Pew Food Cart Vendor

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