Farewell, Weekly World News

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Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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Farewell, Weekly World News

Weekly World News, home to columnist Ed Anger and exclusive coverage of Bat Boy, will cease publication as of August 3. What do you think?
  • "Without their insightful reporting, how are we supposed to make sense of the increasing number of heads appearing on our nation's newborns?"

    Caroline Adamson Systems Analyst
  • "Ed Anger must be madder than a dime-a-dance broad at a wheelchair convention at this news."

    Bob Harvey Custom Detailer
  • "Since The Globe broke the story, I have my doubts that it's true."

    Andy Pew Food Cart Vendor


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