Farmers Planting Less Corn

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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Farmers Planting Less Corn

Despite a record demand for corn caused in part by ethanol fuel, American farmers are expected to plant 8 percent less corn in 2008 than they did last year. What do you think?
  • "I'm sorry; people have been putting corn in their cars? Did I fall asleep and wake up 500 years in the past?"

    Dawn Patterson
    Personal Trainer
  • "I'm surprised how quickly the farmers were able to master OPEC-style supply and demand manipulation."

    Sam Reese
    Systems Analyst
  • "I knew the day would come when a corndog would lend me an air of affluence."

    Larry Kemmis
    Secretary