Fatty Foods Trigger Addiction Response

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Vol 46 Issue 14

MLB Opening Day Marred By Strikeouts

NEW YORK—Players, coaches, fans, and Commissioner Bud Selig expressed concern for the state of professional baseball Monday after MLB's highly anticipated Opening Day was "completely ruined" by a rash of strikeouts that began during the afternoon games and didn't end until the day was over.
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Fatty Foods Trigger Addiction Response

A new study in rats suggests that foods high in fat and calories trigger the same addiction response in the brain that cocaine does. What do you think?

  • "I just read that somewhere, too, but I didn't think it was a scientific study, I thought it was Cathy."

    Marvin Johnson
    Systems Analyst
  • "Have they ruled out the possibility that the rats were all secretly using cocaine throughout the duration of the study?"

    Cath Shippy
    Veneer Trimmer
  • "We shouldn’t draw too many conclusions. After all, Scarface just wouldn't have been the same if Al Pacino dropped his head into a pile of burgers on his desk and came up shooting."

    Gary Rittman
    Machine Boss
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