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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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FBI Investigating New Clinton Emails

During an unrelated investigation of Anthony Weiner’s alleged sexting with a minor, the FBI has uncovered further emails from Hillary Clinton’s server that they plan to investigate. What do you think?

  • “I knew there was more she was hiding! Or that she’s done nothing wrong. Whichever.”

    Niles Bennings Ant Researcher
  • “It just goes to show: you never know what you’ll find while investigating Anthony Weiner for inappropriate communication with minors.”

    Jared Hickock Figurine Displayer
  • “Sorry, but I’ve already reached the cutoff date for factoring new information into my opinion.”

    Therese Godwin Professional Panelist

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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