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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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FBI Probe Problems

Recent analysis of FBI documents indicates that the bureau has abused its powers of surveillance since Sept. 11th, 2001. What do you think?
  • "When you have all that surveillance equipment at your disposal, it must drive you crazy to see it gathering dust on a shelf."

    Tasha Severson Day-Care Provider
  • "How unlike the FBI to abuse the trust of the American public."

    Alan Trask Systems Analyst
  • "Could I answer this question a little further from this gooseneck lamp and portrait of Reagan?"

    Chet Radavulic Lathe Operator
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