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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race
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FCC Fines Electronics Retailers

The Federal Communications Commission levied nearly $6 million in fines to retailers such as Best Buy and Sears for failing to inform consumers that their new analog televisions will be obsolete with next year's digital conversion. What do you think?
  • "I feel like they should also fine them for being very stressful, claustrophobic, unhappy places to shop."

    Mike Pocelli Focus Group Coordinator
  • "I'm appalled that Best Buy floor reps withheld their vast knowledge and expertise from customers."

    Josh Brown Glazer
  • "They will have no problem paying that fine; they just sold a shitload of obsolete analog televisions."

    Sharoz Peterson Systems Analyst

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