FCC Mandates Text-To-911 Emergency Service

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Vol 50 Issue 32

Wrigley Field Removes Iconic Ivy From Urinal Troughs

CHICAGO—In a move that has outraged many fans who consider the vines a treasured part of Wrigley Field’s charm and unique character, the Chicago Cubs announced Friday that they would be removing the stadium’s iconic ivy from its urinal t...

Weak-Willed Termite Eats Whole Log In One Sitting

A local man feels even lazier when he thinks about how much ISIS has accomplished this year, a police officer doesn’t see a difference between black and light-skinned black suspects, and a weak-willed termite eats a whole log in one sitting.
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FCC Mandates Text-To-911 Emergency Service

The FCC has established a deadline for all cellular providers to offer services that allow users to text messages to 911 emergency dispatchers, which allows those in need to get help when it's too dangerous to talk or when they are unable to speak. What do you think?

  • "Anyone can text, but nothing beats the sincerity of a handwritten letter."

    Candace Weil
    Fabric Folder
  • "Meanwhile, all my tweets to @911 are going completely ignored."

    Bill Rodriguez
    Chair Assembler
  • "This is going to lead to a disturbing set of emojis."

    Dan DeGregory
    Microwave Tester
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