FCC May Allow Cell Phone Calls On Flights

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 47

Parents Finally Cave And Buy 33-Year-Old Son PlayStation 1

KENOSHA, WI—Having refused to purchase the video game console since its introduction in 1994, local parents John and Melissa Gionda confirmed Thursday that they had finally caved in and bought a Sony PlayStation 1 for their 33-year-old son, Daniel.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Personal Finance

Fantasy Sports

Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

FCC May Allow Cell Phone Calls On Flights

The Federal Communications Commission is considering lifting the ban on cell phone calls on flights when the plane is above 10,000 feet, though calls would still be disallowed during takeoff and landing. What do you think?

  • “Can air travel get any better?”

    Leonard Flinchbaugh
    Chute Loader
  • “But takeoff and landing are the only parts I want to narrate.”

    Marcel Lorimer
    Systems Analyst
  • “Have the words ‘airplane mode’ lost all meaning?”

    Audrey Avery
    Aerodynamics Engineer
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More