FCC Media Deregulation

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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FCC Media Deregulation

The FCC has eased restrictions on same-city ownership of newspapers and TV stations, freeing media conglomerates to create local monopolies. What do you think?
  • "Yeah? Well, if this is such a big problem, why aren't we hearing more about it on the news?"

    Mitch Ahearn
    Auto Mechanic
  • "I'd be greatly worried, were it not for Clear Channel's proven track record as a passionate and responsible guardian of the values of the Fourth Estate."

    Karen Syms
    Homemaker
  • "Oh, crap. Now, both my local papers will carry Hagar The Horrible."

    Kris Eccles
    Cashier
  • "Hold on–does Chomsky know about this? Because, man, oh, man, is he ever gonna hit the roof."

    Ken Pierce
    Systems Analyst
  • "I'd be concerned about how this will affect the radio airwaves, but, fortunately, I'm a huge Pink fan."

    Mindy Roberts
    Physical Therapist
  • "Shhh. TV's on."

    Richard Powers
    Investment Banker
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