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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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FDA Allows Import Of Cancer Drugs

In order to alleviate the shortage of two cancer drugs, Doxil and methotrexate, the FDA has loosened restrictions and will allow the drugs to be imported from India and Australia. What do you think?

  • "But if drugs aren’t allowed to get really expensive, how do we know who deserves to live?"

    Damon Bassini Dressed-Poultry Grader
  • "Well, shit. What am I going to do now with all this bathtub Doxil?"

    Barbara Romão Unemployed
  • “If I wanted to kick my cancer with Australian drugs, I’d have spent the last 30 years killing my liver with Fosters, but I’m a Genesee man and so my tumor is American, goddamnit.”

    Fred Slon Chauffeur

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