FDA Allows Import Of Cancer Drugs

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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FDA Allows Import Of Cancer Drugs

In order to alleviate the shortage of two cancer drugs, Doxil and methotrexate, the FDA has loosened restrictions and will allow the drugs to be imported from India and Australia. What do you think?

  • "But if drugs aren’t allowed to get really expensive, how do we know who deserves to live?"

    Damon Bassini
    Dressed-Poultry Grader
  • "Well, shit. What am I going to do now with all this bathtub Doxil?"

    Barbara Romão
  • “If I wanted to kick my cancer with Australian drugs, I’d have spent the last 30 years killing my liver with Fosters, but I’m a Genesee man and so my tumor is American, goddamnit.”

    Fred Slon