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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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FDA Approves Ecstasy As ‘Breakthrough’ PTSD Treatment

The FDA has designated MDMA as a “breakthrough” treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, announcing they will move the drug through the approval process as fast as possible. What do you think?

  • “I’m available to participate in a clinical trial at Lollapalooza Berlin on September 9.”

    Samuel Carden Piercing Assistant
  • “Well sure, everything feels like a breakthrough when you’ve been rolling for a solid three hours.”

    Melanie Garlock Systems Analyst
  • “I didn’t even know we were taking care of veterans again.”

    Stan Hines Oral Historian

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