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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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FDA Bans E-Cigarettes For Minors

With the growth of the $2 billion e-cigarette industry that currently has little to no federal oversight, the FDA has voted to impose new regulations, which include limiting the sale of e-cigarettes to minors. What do you think?

  • “If they don't want kids to smoke e-cigarettes, maybe they should stop having teen heartthrob Stephen Dorff endorsing them.”

    Kelly Connors Dance Chaperone
  • “This is just another case of Big Government exercising its legitimate Constitutional power to regulate the sale of products as set out in the Commerce Clause.”

    Richard Blackstone Property Seller
  • “But who else is going to be stupid enough to buy them?”

    Cameron Egan Software Packager

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