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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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FDA Still Against Medical Pot

Despite mounting evidence to support it, the FDA has reaffirmed its stance against the use of medical marijuana. What do you think?
  • "Instead of wasting time on political moves like this, the FDA should get back to doing what it does best; approving new boner pills."

    Brian Kirkpatrick Drywaller
  • "This is the slippery slope, man! First they outlaw medical marijuana, and the next thing you know, it's only a matter of time before they make ALL pot illegal."

    Kay Helms Quarry Worker
  • "It's not like the FDA left cancer patients out to dry. They can still smoke cigarettes."

    Sam Greenland Fruit Vendor

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