FDA To Ban Ephedra

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Frenzied Trump Supporters Admit They’d Be Just As Happy Tearing Him To Pieces

‘We’re Just Mad And Want To Destroy Something,’ Say Candidate’s Backers

WASHINGTON—Saying they simply needed something to direct their anger toward, the nation’s frenzied Donald Trump supporters admitted Thursday that, if circumstances were different, they would be just as happy tearing the Republican frontrunner to pieces.
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FDA To Ban Ephedra

The FDA recently announced that it plans to prohibit sales of products containing ephedra, a stimulant sold primarily for weight loss. What do you think?
  • "If they ban ephedra, they're just going to drive fat people out into the streets for their weight-loss fix."

    Donald Clark
    Systems Analyst
  • "This is bullshit. I contacted the FDA after my cousin swallowed three wooden blocks and died, and you still see those on the market."

    Alan King
    Unemployed
  • "Well, for now, I can get along fine with bitter orange, royal jelly, and the lichen derivative usnic acid."

    Steve Hernandez
    Cook
  • "How terrible! Americans have no other options for weight-loss products."

    Martha Nelson
    Product Tester
  • "You can ban the drug ephedra, but you'll never be able to ban what ephedra stands for."

    Angela Hall
    Teacher
  • "Why is it always the drugs that suffer when people get hurt?"

    Gregory Green
    Professor