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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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FDA Weighs Genetically Modified Salmon

The Food and Drug Administration is deciding whether to allow the cultivation of salmon genetically modified to grow at twice its normal rate. What do you think?

  • "Oh, but they already grow up so fast as it is."

    Katherine Johnson Jig Builder
  • "They can't be any worse for you than Bugles."

    Matt Lunsford Systems Analyst
  • "Of course they should allow it. Nothing makes food taste better than playing God with it."

    Jacob Lewis Pneumatic Tool Operator
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