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Fear Of Mail

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Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
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Fear Of Mail

The U.S. Postal Service has emerged as the primary means of spreading anthrax, sparking fear among mail carriers and millions of Americans. What do you think?
  • "I've been terrified to open my mail lately. Especially the stuff from Verizon."

    Rich Pfloeg
    Carpenter
  • "As owner of America's third-largest mail-order baking-soda distributorship, I am deeply concerned."

    Frank Dawson
    Business Owner
  • "To think that just a short time ago, the biggest worry in opening your mail was that a package might contain a spring-propelled boxing glove that knocked you unconscious."

    Keith Howe
    Cashier
  • "I was wondering why some moonsuit-wearin' motherfucker handed me a Lenscrafters flyer this morning."

    Dana Dunst
    Systems Analyst
  • "We should write 'Return To Sender' on any anthrax-laced letters. That'd show 'em."

    Andrea Vincent
    Podiatrist
  • "As a major New York media power player, I'd better see an envelope full of anthrax on my desk by noon tomorrow, or I'm gonna be seriously pissed."

    Thomas McEntyre
    Publisher

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