Feces Transplants Help Cure Diarrhea

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Vol 49 Issue 03

Bowling!

Let’s go! Come on, it’ll be fun. Have you ever been to the Lucky Star Lanes? They turn on a bunch of neon lights and play disco music after 9!

Bill Belichick Builds New Tight End From Mutilated Dog Parts

FOXBOROUGH, MA—In a savage and gruesome turn of events, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reportedly slaughtered a half-dozen dogs adopted from the humane society Friday, sewing together the dismembered body parts to construct a new, horrific tight...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Pop Culture

Man Commits To New TV Show Just Hours After Getting Out Of 7-Season Series

UNION CITY, NJ—Recommending that he give himself the chance to pause and explore the other options out there, friends of local man Jonathan Gember expressed their concerns to reporters Wednesday that the 29-year-old is already committing to a new television show just hours after getting out of a seven-season-long series.

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Feces Transplants Help Cure Diarrhea

A new study found that transplanting feces from a healthy person, typically a relative, into the colon of someone suffering diarrhea due to an infection of the Clostridium difficile bacteria proved markedly more effective at curing the ailment than antibiotics. What do you think?

  • “Diarrhea it is.”

    Manny Stanford
    Systems Analyst
  • “Oh, no! I’ve just been flushing mine this whole time. What a terrible waste.”

    Ellen Edemann
    Room Service Waitress
  • “Did Jerry put you up to this? Because he’s been trying to trick me into putting his shit in my ass for months.”

    Lyndell Thirlwell
    Drying Oven Tender
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