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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Federal Employees Owe More Than $1 Billion In Taxes

According to the IRS, federal, postal, and congressional employees owe $1.03 billion in unpaid taxes. What do you think?

  • "Interesting. I'll have to remember to be much ruder to my mailman next time I see him."

    Danny Fry Grip Boss
  • "Are you still allowed to write a whole news story about a measly billion bucks?"

    Arthur Huth Ceramic Restorer
  • "That's horrible. Where ever did these employees of the United States government get the idea that it was acceptable to let their obligations amass into an incomprehensibly large sum and not do a thing to pay it off?"

    Beth Kosloff Processing Supervisor

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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

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