adBlockCheck

Politics

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:
End Of Section
  • More News

Federal Security Breaches

Last week, it was reported that federal investigators carrying fake law-enforcement credentials were able to penetrate security at 21 government buildings, including the Pentagon, CIA, FBI, and Justice Department. What do you think about these alarming security breaches?
  • "As a terrorist, I say the public release of this report detailing specific security flaws in key federal buildings is a positive first step."

    Ahmed al Assan Terrorist
  • "I was once able to infiltrate security at an exclusive Miami beach club by posing as a Federal Bikini Inspector."

    Mike Hoyle Landscaper
  • "This report is just another excuse by Big Brother in Washington to curb our personal liberties and create a police state to, uh, to... whoa, man, I am so baked."

    Todd Cudahy Clerk
  • "I bet I could be an FBI agent. No, wait–not 'be,' 'kill.'"

    Carol Christiansen Homemaker
  • "Federal security's not as bad as they say. I haven't gotten into the Lincoln Bedroom yet."

    Max Arledge Systems Analyst
  • "The government hasn't been secure since Nancy Reagan took away its little blue blankie back in 1984."

    Denise Petry Psychologist
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Trump’s Budget Proposal: What You Need To Know

President Trump has revealed his first budget blueprint, which contains $54 billion in cuts while accommodating increased spending on defense and security. The Onion details the major elements of Trump’s proposed budget:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close