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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Feds 'Friending' People On Facebook To Spy

Federal documents suggest both the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services and the Department of Homeland Security have encouraged agents to "friend" suspects on Facebook in order to check for evidence of misdeeds. What do you think?

  • "That would probably explain all those videos in my feed of Keyboard Cat playing off deportees."

    Keith Renn Dado Operator
  • "Thanks for the heads up. I'd better get home and unfriend Janet Napolitano."

    Emma Brand Kitchen Porter
  • "So, these agents. How good are they at tending virtual crops?"

    David Convex Unemployed
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