FEMA Cuts Off Evacuees

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


FEMA Cuts Off Evacuees

FEMA recently announced that, at the end of the month, they will to stop paying for hurricane evacuees' hotel rooms. What do you think?
  • "Well, yeah. They've had, what, eight or nine weeks to build new houses?"

    Mark Osborne
  • "Those poor people have been through enough trauma without having to deal with the stigma of being kicked out of a hotel room—which I, as a former Van Halen groupie, can empathize with on a very deep level."

    Sarah King
    Purchasing Agent
  • "Why is everyone focusing on the negatives instead of how quickly and efficiently FEMA evacuated everyone from their hotel rooms?"

    Jim Fessler