Feud Develops Between Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis

In This Section

Vol 49 Issue 32

Carl Tresvant

Since he didn’t know anything about the topic being discussed, Carl Tresvant kept his goddamn trap shut.

Obama Taking 8-Day Martha’s Vineyard Vacation

The Obama family will leave Saturday for an 8-day vacation on the quiet, affluent island of Martha’s Vineyard, where they have visited three of the past four summers, and are expected to spend the week golfing, shopping, and relaxing.

Doctors Finally Clear Peyton Manning To Play Football

DENVER—Two years after performing his 2011 spinal fusion surgery, doctors announced this week that Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning has been officially cleared to return to the field and take part in football activities.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Family

Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Productivity

Scientists Posit Theoretical ‘Productive Weekend’

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Challenging long-accepted scientific convention, a group of leading MIT scientists published a report Thursday positing that, under certain rare and specific conditions, a so-called “productive weekend” is theoretically pos...

Feud Develops Between Sly Stallone, Bruce Willis

After Bruce Willis reportedly refused to appear in the movie The Expendables 3 for less than $1 million per day for four days of filming, the film’s star Sylvester Stallone blasted Willis on Twitter as “greedy and lazy” and said he would suffer “career failure.” What do you think?

  • “This could get interesting. But I doubt it.”

    Joshua Boggs
    Glass Calibrator
  • “Now I’m gonna have the Expendables theme song stuck in my head all day.”

    Adele Yelchin
    Unemployed
  • “No Bruce Willis? You mean it’ll just be Stallone, Eric Roberts, Harrison Ford, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Gary Daniels, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Randy Couture, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, and Steve Austin? Fuck that!”

    Derek Plauche
    Layaway Clerk
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More