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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Fewer Emergency Rooms As Need Increases

According to a study published in The Journal Of The American Medical Association, the number of non-rural emergency rooms fell 27 percent even as ER visits nationwide rose 35 percent. What do you think?

  • “The upshot is that if the discrepancy persists long enough, we’ll have the perfect number of emergency rooms for everyone who hasn’t died.”

    Carol Stengler Systems Analyst
  • “But where are all the ambulances going to go?”

    Jim Harris Weight-Loss Camp Inspector
  • "Well, that doesn't sound good. Say, has anyone thought of trying to reform medical care in the United States?"

    Fred Butler Registrar

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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