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'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Series Reaches 10 Million Sales

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Series Reaches 10 Million Sales

Publishing house Vintage has sold 10 million copies of the erotica trilogy Fifty Shades Of Grey in multiple formats in an astonishing six weeks. What do you think?

  • “Whatever happened to the good old days of finding a cheap paperback with women spanking each other on the cover in your dad's sock drawer?”

    Veronica Palomino Invoice-Control Clerk
  • “I was really excited about it until I opened the book and guess what? It’s just a bunch of words.”

    Giovanni Dietrich Feed Mixer
  • “Idiots. There's no way there are more than 12 shades of grey.”

    Anthony Hoffman Systems Analyst

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