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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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File Sharer Fined $222,000

A Minnesota woman was fined $222,000 for illegally downloading and distributing 24 songs via the file-sharing network Kazaa. What do you think?
  • "Wow, is that how much music costs now? Honestly, I have no idea, I haven't paid for music in years."

    Pete Carson Furniture Mover
  • "A stiff fine, yes, but it's hardly as bad as when I was punched in the stomach for humming 'Hollaback Girl' on the elevator."

    Shelley Birney Painter
  • "To avoid any problems, I'll just start stealing from the record store again."

    Hans Hoerzl Curtain Installer

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