Fingerprinting Foreign Visitors

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City Adds Some Big Concrete Stairs

They’re For Sitting On Or Running Up Or Something

CHICAGO—Noting the structure’s considerable size and prominent location in a busy public park, local residents confirmed Tuesday that the city had installed some big concrete stairs that were probably for sitting on or running up or something like that.
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Fingerprinting Foreign Visitors

To improve national security, last week the U.S. began fingerprinting and photographing foreigners arriving at air- and seaports. What do you think?
  • "What? They have fingerprints? Those bastards become more like humans every day."

    James R. Webb
    Marine Engineer
  • "They're taking photos? That's useless. Everyone looks like a terrorist in an ID photo."

    Paula Holt
  • "I've always thought that people should have to jump through more hoops for the privilege of visiting a glorious bastion of freedom and liberty like America."

    Shirley Crawford
  • "This information will come in handy if we ever need to determine exactly who touched the counter at the St. Louis Arch gift shop."

    Edgar Little
    Systems Analyst
  • "Why the hubbub? It's not like we're extracting delicious DNA samples from them. Did I say delicious? I meant invasive."

    Alex Mason
  • "They do the photography and fingerprinting at no charge? America truly is the land of opportunity!"

    Ronald Ramirez