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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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Fingerprinting Foreign Visitors

To improve national security, last week the U.S. began fingerprinting and photographing foreigners arriving at air- and seaports. What do you think?
  • "What? They have fingerprints? Those bastards become more like humans every day."

    James R. Webb Marine Engineer
  • "They're taking photos? That's useless. Everyone looks like a terrorist in an ID photo."

    Paula Holt Writer
  • "I've always thought that people should have to jump through more hoops for the privilege of visiting a glorious bastion of freedom and liberty like America."

    Shirley Crawford Illustrator
  • "This information will come in handy if we ever need to determine exactly who touched the counter at the St. Louis Arch gift shop."

    Edgar Little Systems Analyst
  • "Why the hubbub? It's not like we're extracting delicious DNA samples from them. Did I say delicious? I meant invasive."

    Alex Mason Dishwasher
  • "They do the photography and fingerprinting at no charge? America truly is the land of opportunity!"

    Ronald Ramirez Guard
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