First Brazilian In Space

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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First Brazilian In Space

Lt. Col. Marcos Pontes, the first Brazilian astronaut, is due to return from his brief mission tomorrow. What do you think?
  • "I'm all for a Brazilian being sent into space, but that spacesuit left little to the imagination."

    Natasha Nicholls Hair Stylist
  • "I understand this is part of their greater plan to have a lunar favela by 2028."

    Harold Ledin Systems Analyst
  • "I wonder how they decided who got to escape Brazil."

    Darrick Unger Botanist


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