adBlockCheck

First Family In Crisis

Top Headlines

Politics

Trump Casually Informs Pence He Going To Make One Or Two Appearances During Speech

CLEVELAND—Pulling his running mate aside backstage at the Republican National Convention just minutes before the Indiana governor was scheduled to formally accept the party’s vice presidential nomination, GOP candidate Donald Trump casually informed Mike Pence that he would probably make one or two quick appearances during the Midwestern conservative’s headlining speech tonight.

‘Heed My Tragic Story Well, Friends, For You Could Just As Easily Be Me,’ Says Chris Christie In Haunting RNC Speech

CLEVELAND—A thrall sweeping over the assembled GOP officials and party members Tuesday as he recounted his chilling tale of hubris, New Jersey governor Chris Christie reportedly entreated those at the Republican National Convention to consider the sad story of his own dizzying rise and ignominious fall, offering a bitter warning to all in attendance that his terrible fate could befall any one of them.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

First Family In Crisis

In the wake of the Lewinsky scandal, media focus has shifted to the First Family, with some speculating that Bill and Hillary will divorce upon leaving the White House. What do you think about the future of the Clintons?
  • "Hillary must be deeply hurt and angered that her husband broke his sacred vow to keep his extramarital affairs from the press."

    Barry Todd Lawyer
  • "As a Sudanese factory worker, I sincerely hope that Bill Clinton remains faithful to his wife during his remaining time in office."

    Biswot Salaam Factory Worker
  • "I used to think Hillary was a bitch, but all that's changed now that I see her as a victim."

    Renee Walker Manicurist
  • "I'm just glad Hillary hasn't stood by her man like some good little woman like Tammy Wynette."

    Gina Lyons Systems Analyst
  • "That recent vacation on Martha's Vineyard was just what Hillary needed–a break from the pressure of constantly feigning surprise and indignation."

    Larry Klecko Opthamologist
  • "One thing's for sure: It'll be years before Chelsea is willing to give a guy a blow job."

    Rick Leahy Carpenter

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close