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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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First Lady To Release Rap Album About Healthy Living

First Lady Michelle Obama will release a hip-hop album aimed at youths, which includes 19 tracks about eating vegetables and staying active, and which features appearances by DMC, Ashanti, New York Knicks player Iman Schumpert, and Dr. Oz. What do you think?

  • “Why does hip-hop always have to glorify lifestyles I’m not comfortable with?”

    Ben Pownall Cement Loader
  • “Oh, great, my son was looking for a new hip-hop album for his birthday.”

    Kaye Roylance Industrial Diamond Polisher
  • “So when’s the impeachment?”

    Austen Platt Systems Analyst

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