adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

First Lady To Release Rap Album About Healthy Living

First Lady Michelle Obama will release a hip-hop album aimed at youths, which includes 19 tracks about eating vegetables and staying active, and which features appearances by DMC, Ashanti, New York Knicks player Iman Schumpert, and Dr. Oz. What do you think?

  • “Why does hip-hop always have to glorify lifestyles I’m not comfortable with?”

    Ben Pownall Cement Loader
  • “Oh, great, my son was looking for a new hip-hop album for his birthday.”

    Kaye Roylance Industrial Diamond Polisher
  • “So when’s the impeachment?”

    Austen Platt Systems Analyst
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close