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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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First Lady Urges Americans To Drink More Water

Noting that 4 in 10 Americans drink less than half the recommended amount of water per day, Michelle Obama kicked off her new Drink Up initiative, launching the hashtag #DrinkH2O and a new website, youarewhatyoudrink.org, to help spread her message. What do you think?

  • “The trick is to cut it with a little soda.”

    Carl Maginnis Interior Decorator
  • “If there’s anybody who could get me to drink more water, it’s Michelle Obama. Look at her, she’s 60 percent water.”

    Polly Fullerton Podiatrist
  • “If I want to be dehydrated, that’s my damn business. I’ll check out that website, though—sounds neat.”

    Brad Bruno Unemployed
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