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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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First Openly Gay Player Selected In NFL Draft

In the seventh and final round of the 2014 NFL Draft this weekend, Missouri defensive end Michael Sam was selected by the St. Louis Rams as the 249th overall pick, becoming the first openly gay player to join the NFL. What do you think?

  • “Why can’t this guy bottle up his sexual preference and channel it into explosive rage and violence like other players?”

    Josh Hall Systems Analyst
  • “It’s nice to see the NFL take a step forward on its single biggest issue besides sexual assault, racist team names, and concussion-induced suicides.”

    Rebecca Keener Day Care Administrator
  • “I find it strange that a player’s sexuality would be a subject of discussion. Are you sure this is professional sports we’re talking about?”

    Oliver Peet Bus Route Coordinator

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