adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

First Private Flight To Space Station This Week

SpaceX, the privately owned spaceflight company, is planning to launch a robotic capsule to the International Space Station this Saturday. What do you think?

  • “I just don’t trust the private sector to properly equip a rocket the way the government does. What happens if they need to make some triplicate forms up there?”

    Kelly Green Lacquerer
  • “Hopefully a private flight will finally introduce the kind of prestige and exclusivity that's always been lacking in space travel.”

    Lou Hogan Systems Analyst
  • “Our collective better get to work on the first anarcho-syndicalist-owned capsule right away, then.”

    Isaac Guinn Heel Compressor
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close