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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
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First Woman Added To FBI’s 'Most Wanted Terrorists' List

Joanne Chesimard, a member of the Black Liberation Army who killed a New Jersey state trooper 40 years ago and has since fled to Cuba, was named one of the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorists, becoming the first woman ever to appear on the list. What do you think?

  • “I’m sure some hardworking male terrorist lost his spot just so the FBI could make a point.”

    Moe Vanselow Pulp Press Tender
  • “Frankly, they’re not doing enough. Fifty percent of those terrorists need to be women before I’ll be satisfied.”

    Amy Yerkes Lawn Sprinkler Installer
  • “But I bet she doesn’t make as much money as all the men on that list.”

    Juan Pablo Ayala Systems Analyst

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