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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Florida Crocs Make Nuclear Comeback

American crocodiles are making a comeback in Florida, thanks in large part to the protected canals surrounding the Turkey Point nuclear power plant. What do you think?
  • "The crocodiles serve an important function in the ecosystem by keeping nuclear-protester numbers manageable."

    Chris Campbell Systems Analyst
  • "Is this one of those 'oh good, a revival of an endangered species' or 'oh no, our ecosystem will never recover' moments?"

    Gillian Lefferts Beer Delivery Man
  • "Hmm…crocodiles…nuclear power plants…Turkey Point…why am I still sitting here? South Florida, sir—and step on it!"

    Darnel Jackson Animal Handler

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