Florida Crocs Make Nuclear Comeback

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Vol 43 Issue 20

Romney: 'Double Guantanamo'

In a Republican presidential debate on Tuesday, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney said he would support doubling the detention facilities in...
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Florida Crocs Make Nuclear Comeback

American crocodiles are making a comeback in Florida, thanks in large part to the protected canals surrounding the Turkey Point nuclear power plant. What do you think?
  • "The crocodiles serve an important function in the ecosystem by keeping nuclear-protester numbers manageable."

    Chris Campbell
    Systems Analyst
  • "Is this one of those 'oh good, a revival of an endangered species' or 'oh no, our ecosystem will never recover' moments?"

    Gillian Lefferts
    Beer Delivery Man
  • "Hmm…crocodiles…nuclear power plants…Turkey Point…why am I still sitting here? South Florida, sir—and step on it!"

    Darnel Jackson
    Animal Handler
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