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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Florida Restaurant Discontinues Lion-Meat Tacos

After coming under fire by animal rights activists and receiving numerous threats, the Tampa, FL restaurant Taco Fusion decided to discontinue its $35 taco made with meat from a lion. What do you think?

  • “Ugh. You never actually know what kind of meat they put in these $35 tacos.”

    Frederick Kopp Systems Analyst
  • “Why are we eating these majestic animals when they could be in the circus where they belong?”

    Raymond Spendlove Fur Tailor
  • “Oh, I can’t eat Mexican food. Too spicy.”

    Carla Jean Lampman Art Teacher
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Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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