adBlockCheck

Florida School To Stop Giving Kids Mountain Dew Before Tests

Top Headlines

Recent News

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Florida School To Stop Giving Kids Mountain Dew Before Tests

Amid concerns that the practice doesn’t comply with state law, Creel Elementary School in Florida has ceased giving students small cups of Mountain Dew before the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test, which were intended as a motivational treat. What do you think?

  • “Glad to hear someone fixed the flaw in standardized testing.”

    Kristen Hahn Estate Conservator
  • “Good. The Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test is X-treme enough as it is.”

    Nolan Anfanger Posting Clerk
  • “That’s bullshit. Mountain Dew is supposed to be given afterwards as a reward for doing well.”

    Adrian Hines Sonographer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close