Flu Hitting Obese People Harder

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FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

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ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

Flu Hitting Obese People Harder

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 46 percent of American adults who have been hospitalized with this year’s strain of the flu are obese, a figure much higher than the 20-30 percent average of years past. What do you think?

  • “Are we sure they’re not just faking it to get some of that tasty medicine?”

    Raymond Massey
    Watchband Assembler
  • “So that’s why Hardy was always sneezing while Laurel looked fine.”

    Ross Bristow
    Recording Engineer
  • “Oh great, another excuse for people to not hang out with me.”

    Sandra Vafiadis
    Systems Analyst