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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Flu Season Arrives Month Early

Citing an uptick in influenza reports in the Southeast and Texas, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention warned that flu season has arrived a month earlier than usual and noted that this year’s strain could be particularly troublesome for the elderly. What do you think?

  • “I’m not worried. I got a flu shot one year.”

    Jay Kellener Road Supervisor
  • “Every year flu season seems to just get longer and more commercialized.”

    Cyndi Strouse Formula Bottler
  • “Stay out of Texas and avoid the elderly. Done and done.”

    T. Daniel Bronskill Bundle Weigher

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