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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Flying Car A Reality

Massachusetts-based company Terrafugia Inc. announced it has completed a test flight of its flying car prototype and will be displaying it at the New York Auto Show. What do you think?

  • "Just as Icarus flew too close to the merciless sun…I forget how the rest of that goes. Sign me up!"

    Jeff Price Milling Supervisor
  • "I don’t really see the point of these things unless there’s a floating Taco Bell drive-thru I’m not aware of."

    Laura Pyland Patent Drafter
  • "Ever since I was a kid I wondered if it was possible to fly."

    Ewan Bradshaw Reinsurance Clerk

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